Jakkal (jakkal) wrote,
Jakkal
jakkal

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Twits

So we had to ban this one twit on Kaerwyn because, well, he was either really really stupid, or he was just ignoring the rules. He was having a lot of problems making a Character Sheet (CS), which was obvious. But that doesn't warrant 4 fucking posts, all of which have some variety of "Help me with my CS", and posting them in the CS Approval forum (When there IS a forum FOR posting things like "help me").



But here's a synopsis of what the twit did:
First He posted a CS of a half Kaerwyn dragon. Kaerwyn dragons are the creators and unseen rulers of Kaerwyn. We have several rules regarding the K-dragons:

1. Kaerwyn dragons (K-dragons) are to be treated as Game Masters.
7. K-Dragons are not NPCs, plot devices, or characters you can play/use.

A little background info. The K-dragons are not physical, at all. They can take a somewhat physical form, but that's not a true biological form. THERE IS NO WAY THEY COULD MAKE A HALF K-DRAGON CHARACTER. They do not have pseudoquasiphysical astral sperm, ok? They cannot boink people.

Oh but then it gets worse, actual exerpt from the CS: Personal Information/History/Background: Kira: grew up in dragon city and was born by his fahters idea of fusing his dragon powers with human energies but then his fahtere was out casted becase his son kira was born with out there say so caues he wasent a knight in there army so they tryed to kill kira but than he was saved by his freind which hid him in the forest of Kaerwyn and then his freind died and kira has rasied him self eversince

It's bad enough that it MAKES NO DAMN SENSE™, but It breaks another rule about playing characters FROM Kaerwyn, considering they A. Wouldn't know about the plots we've done (Such as the world blowing up), B. Wouldn't have a fucking clue about Kaerwyn. C. The only livable area is a small caldera.

But let me explain, moron, what the K-dragons would ACTUALLY do if this situation came up. They would stop the father before he started. If somehow magically they didn't stop him and the character was born, they would KILL THE CHARACTER. Then they would BANISH the father. And when we say "Outcast" We don't mean they sit in the draconic middle school lunch room and laugh at the guy sitting by himself at the end of the row. NO, They would forcably EXPELL HIM out of the etheric plane and into the physical where he would be forced to live physical lives until he's ready to be an astral K-dragon. Then they would run over to bad_rpers_suck and MAKE FUN OF HIM.

*Repercussions and Limits for Magical usage and shapeshifting usage: useing to much magic can drain him of enrgy and if he is draind of to much enrergy he will die or passout and that he must rest to rgaina it

This kind of reads like the warning labels of Antifreeze: Injesting this product may cause death, or blindness, or both. WTF?!

* Useful Trinkets or Items: His fahters amulet protects him from eivle spirits and keeps him pure

NO SEX FOR YOU!

----

So in conclusion: CS was horribly written. The backstory had one period. One. The spelling was beyond atrocious. The character itself broke at least 4 rules just glancing over it. It was summarily rejected without a second thought.

So then he posted 4 fucking "help me" messages, all saying the same thing (Does he think phpbb is a kind of realtime chat??), and he wonders why he's banned. Well he comes on from a friend's house, signs up with a new account, and starts posting all over again.

Here's the latest of his CS's, with some editing from me:

Character Name(s): Nova (It means "Don't Go." that' s a hint)

*Race/Species: Drake (that's a duck)

*Gender: Male

Actual Character Age: 19

Home Territory: Kiser

Height: 7''8 (That's seven inches 8. We aren't sure what the 8 is for, but it sound better than a 7inch tall dragon by itself).

Weight: 300ibs (He's made of dark matter. That actually explains a whole lot).

Physical Build: Musclar Sturdy - MuscLar the CONQUEROR!

*Physical Description: Wears his clans armor which covers his cheast (It's a cheast, like a chia pet, only not as functional or cute) and legs and feet he has red spikey hair Green eyes his scales are white with red strikes in them wings that help him for flight he looks like a dragon but is about the size of a human and walks on two feet ... I can't even make fun of that. It's too sad by itself.

Personal Information/History/Background: Nova lives in a world called nexis were he lives in a academy that teaches students (nothing about periods) how to use elemental magic (Such as dragon farting thunder) and skills he waas brought to this academy by his father (Because you can carry skills on a single carryon for most flights) during his out cast (because outcasts can walk around freely and do whatever they want) from his clan nova was traind to be one of the academys (you can train to be an academy, sweet!) Drake (That's a duck) soldiers a one of a kinde (Obviously, otherwise they'd be taken out of the gene pool) so during his traing he was awared to be put into the army (Because all idiots go into the army) and was made commander of a platoon (Aaahahaha) during a special mission (Special in the short bus kind of way) to kill a village he was forced to kill a child but did not nova (That means don't go) and his men returnd back to the academy saying that they cant do this anymore (Because somehow the big bad army traing to kill can't. That's why they're the 'nova' class. Don't go) the higharcs said this dose not matter that you must do as they say but he said i would rathere be outcasted (Oh god) like my fahter so nova left taking his fahters drake sword (That's a duck) I must find a better place (note i need help to figuer out how he gets here to your world any suggestion)

Here's a suggestion -> . USE THEM.

* How they got to Kaerwyn: That's right, he DIDN'T

*Magical Abilities: Dragon Blaze, Dragon thunder, Dragon pillar, Inferno blaze, Gas of Doom, Godly Spork of Justice, Death by bad grammar

*Repercussions and Limits for Magical usage and shapeshifting usage: Drains his life force which thus might kill him if hes uses them to much But obviously won't kill him because he's still around to twink s'more

*Number and Description of Weaponry and Training:8 Wepon is the drake sword whic was forged by his clan for him made from fiers energy and commrades bones, We're rolling our eyes behind your back.

* Useful Trinkets or Items: none a-fucking-mazing

Vehicle: *This requires op approval. Only answer this if you want your character to keep their vehicle.

*Special Skills: Fligth Felxiablity enached strenth ... what?

Character's Career: Drake soldier That's a duck

Fav. Saying/Quote: let death be not the end of hope This grammar is the end of hope for sure.

Preferred Food: meats

*Form of Roleplay: FFRP

*GOD test score: 29

Info about the mun: I am ***** i am 18 still in high scholl about to gradutae love anime and rps like good guys and anti heros lol

Kaerwyn Occupation:

G.O.D. Test Report: 1.(3),2.(0)3.(1),4.(0),5.(0),6.(3),7.(2),8.(1),9.(0),10.(4),11.(1),12.(2) 13.(0),14.(2).15.((1) Flight using obvious means (Such as wings, mechanical devices, etc)
(2) Exceptional Agility (up to twice human)



So he writes me back after finding out we banned him, and we made fun of him (To his face because that's more fun), and says the following:

You can piss flys becase yuo are just jeloius i can type better than you
and your to spcific so try to be a little more descrite


AAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Crossposting this to bad_rpers_suck
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