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Jakkal's Ramblings

The Equal Opportunity Offender


August 4th, 2009

Dear Blizzard Entertainment... @ 04:22 pm

Your support is ass.* I would think for reeling in shittons of money, you could hire competent people that are well above the average age of your players. (Or at least maturity).

Please note: I do not play any Blizzard games. Oh hey, maybe this is why the support is ass.

So why do I need their support staff's help? Some jackass kid tried to merge his WoW account with something called a Battle.Net account and he used MY EMAIL ADDRESS to do it. Yay. WoW spam. THat's really what I want to see in my inbox. So I went to their support site LIKE THEY SUGGESTED*, and sent them an email letting them know that I do not want my email addy in their database at all.

So what's the reply I get?

This is Matt from the Billing and Account Services department here at Blizzard  Entertainment. I've had some time to review the issues you have encountered and I may have some suggestions for you. If after you read the entire message you still require assistance in this matter,  or if you have any further questions or concerns, please feel free to contact me by replying directly to this email.

Account security is a paramount concern at Blizzard Entertainment. As such we require extensive verification in order to disassociate a World of Warcraft Account from a Battle.net Account.

For your security, after we disassociate a World of Warcraft account, we recommend associating (or "merging") with a Battle.net account registered to the individual who originally created the World of Warcraft account. If you have not already created a Battle.net account, please follow the steps below:

a.) Go to the following website: http://us.battle.net/login/
b.) Click the "Sign up now!" link.
c.) Complete the Battle.net account-creation process, being sure to follow the instructions carefully and enter accurate information.

In order to remove the World of Warcraft account we require the following:

- A legible photocopy of the identification of the registered account user. Only a government issued photo ID or Birth Certificate will be accepted for the registered user. (School IDs are *not* accepted.)
-  A copy of the TOU form (http://us.blizzard.com/support/article.xml?articleId=26361) completed by the registered account user. Be sure to use the same email address as your Battle.net Account, so that we may merge the World of Warcraft account to the correct Battle.net account. When filling out the TOU form, you may additionally circle "Secret Question Retrieval" and we will provide you with the Secret Question Answer that was chosen upon the account's creation.

Please email these materials as an attachment to our Billing and Account Services department at AccountServices@Blizzard.com. This file must be under 5 MB and be in the jpg, gif, or bmp format. For ease of processing, please use the account login name as the subject line.


I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING WOW OR BATTLE.NET ACCOUNT AND I DO NOT WANT ONE.

In retrospect, what have I learned from this? I should have validated the account that someone signed up with my address, logged in as them, and did whatever in their account to get them permanently banned for life.


*Their support site doesn't even work in Firefox. (You'd think for reeling in shittons of money they could make it work)
 
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Comments

 
[User Picture Icon]
From:thaily
Date:August 4th, 2009 08:38 pm (UTC)
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Blizzard, much like it's players, can't imagine someone not playing WoW.
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From:jakkal
Date:August 4th, 2009 08:39 pm (UTC)
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Yes, and now I'm waiting for their players to assault me in a raid-like manner because WOW IS SACRED! You say NO ILL ABOUT WOW!

That or they'll start attacking my game of choice.

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From:thaily
Date:August 4th, 2009 09:01 pm (UTC)
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WOW SUCKS ORC ASS!

There, pathetic, impotent, frustrated fanboy flailing re-directed ;)
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From:ellonwye
Date:August 4th, 2009 09:01 pm (UTC)
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Haha, did they even read the report?
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From:jakkal
Date:August 4th, 2009 09:04 pm (UTC)
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No, otherwise he'd know I don't have either account, which makes this part especially amusing:

"If after you read the entire message you still require assistance in this matter..."
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From:chenneoue
Date:August 4th, 2009 09:11 pm (UTC)
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Sounds like a generic e-mail template thing... probably just selected one template, and sent it to you... beacuse obviously they didn't read or pay attention to what you were telling them.
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From:cesarin
Date:August 4th, 2009 09:17 pm (UTC)
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sounds like microsoft or steam's support section
everything is automated.
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From:tailes
Date:August 4th, 2009 09:40 pm (UTC)
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Reset the pass through your e-mail and go back for fun?
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From:griffinwolf
Date:August 5th, 2009 01:55 am (UTC)
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yeah, you'll have to call them... and talk to a living person. That's an automated thing
[User Picture Icon]
From:slupine
Date:August 5th, 2009 11:35 am (UTC)
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You still getting spam from it?

You can always go to whatever site it points you to, click "retrieve password".... hey, it'll go to your email, right? *smirk*

Jakkal's Ramblings

The Equal Opportunity Offender