My tweets

Tue, 18:44: Just had to call the cops on someone that left their dog in a car with only windows cracked.
Tue, 18:45: While I'm on the phone with the cops, she comes out and gives me attitude, like how dare I call her on doing it.
Tue, 18:46: "The AC was on and it's in the shade" Bitch, it's 97F out. You know how long it takes to turn a car into an oven?
Tue, 18:47: And the car was there for at least 10 minutes before I realized a dog was in it, when it started barking at mine.
Tue, 18:49: I also found a rock with a pointed tip that I could use to break a window if it came to that. It would be worth it to pay for the damages.
Tue, 19:23: I'm in a car now. In the shade. Hot as fuck.
Tue, 20:20: 1st for me. Went to @Smashburger . Got attitude from the employee. Opened my burger, bite taken out of it. https://t.co/Pm0dSNj45P
Tue, 20:21: I'm pretty sure I didn't take a bite out of it and just not remember. I mean, I guess it could happen. But I'm pretty sure I didn't do it.
Tue, 23:10: Oh, right. Today's a comic update day. I should probably set that up.